


I Was Good (For You)

by 0alchemy0



Series: Hellfire [2]
Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor substance abuse, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, slowest of slow burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27006334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0alchemy0/pseuds/0alchemy0
Summary: The night still follows him around, seeing Rin's face on strangers, hearing him laugh in the back of his mind, dreaming about him and feeling the ghost of his touch in the morning. It's been six months, and still, nothing. Is Rin really lost in Gehenna?
Relationships: Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Series: Hellfire [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917040
Comments: 32
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda short... but shh it's kinda supposed to be short to fill y'all in on the time jump from this chapter to get ready for the next. Enjoy~

As much as it pained Yukio, he had given up. He was going strong the first three months of Rin being gone. He would jump at every noise and go investigate it, knowing all to well that Rin wasn’t the quietist. Him and Kuro would go out on missions and instead of killing demons, they would trap them and ask them about Rin and if they knew if he was alive and if they knew a way to bring him back. The demons would all just snarl and say that they will never give up Rin. That gave Yukio hope that he’s still alive. That he’s going to get out of there. 

Month four, a lower level demon was sitting in the middle of Yukio’s dorm room. He wasn’t going to kill him, though he had that look in his eye. He said to Yukio, “My condolences. Your brother was an amazing demon. All of Gehenna is grieving him.” Yukio wanted a body, but the demon wouldn’t bring it up, and demons don’t feel emotions. So they can’t be sad over his death. Rin thought it was all fake, until Mephisto went to him and said if he needed time off from work or from school, he could take it. Mephisto didn’t have his usual playful grin on his face or his nicknames, he was emotionless which raised red flags. Rin is dead. 

Month four and a half, Yukio went home to the monastery. They talked about putting some of Rin’s stuff in a casket since they don’t have a body, but Yukio couldn’t bring himself to let go of Rin’s things. They just put a headstone next to Shiro’s with Rin’s name on it. Yukio didn’t expect anyone to show up other than the guys at the Monastery. Ryuuji came. Instead of flowers, he has a jar of lollipops. Inside, on top of the lollipops sits the hair clip Ryuuji gave Rin - the piece offering. The others filed in behind him. None of them had anything to put down at the grave, but they all had stories. They all went around telling their stories of Rin, even if they where absolutely horrible to him in the end. 

Ryuuji choked when it got to his turn, he said something about them having nerf gun wars and nothing about how much he feels for him. He doesn’t care if in Rin’s dying wish letter, he practically begged Ryuuji to move on, but it’s something that’s not going to happen. He told Kuro and held him while he cried. He forgave Yukio because he couldn’t have predicted this outcome. He was trying to help Rin. He coaxed Kuro into forgiving Yukio too. It wasn’t easy, and it took four and a half months but at the funeral, Kuro jumped up onto Yukio’s shoulder and leaned against his head. That was his piece offering. 

Month five, everyone stopped looking for Rin. Demons avoided them because they can tell by the look in Yukio’s stomach, he is out for blood. Revenge is a dark, twisted, empty thing. No matter how badly Yukio wants to avenge his brother, there isn’t a way to bring Satan up from Gehenna to chop his head off.

Shima took Ryuuji to a party; He had to drag him out of their dorm room seeing as the same depression that’s hit Kuro has hit him too, not waiting to move, in a dangerous cycle of over eating then under eating, only going to and from school. He needed to get out of the dorm and meet someone that makes him forget about Rin. Or someone that makes everything hurt a little less. Shima joked about getting a pet cat for Kuro, but Ryuuji said that probably isn’t the best thing seeing as Kuro lost two handlers the same way to the same person. Koneko was impressed that Shima was able to even get Ryuuji out of bed that day. It’s getting colder out, and closer to December - closer to Rin’s Birthday. Ryuuji joked to Rin about taking him to Kyoto for his birthday so he can see the Kyoto Tower he has been dying to see since the dawn of time for no particular reason. Thinking about his birthday is bittersweet.

The party was fine, there was alcohol and drugs, but Ryuuji didn’t want any of them, knowing all to well how depression and potential substance abuse mix together. He stood in the corner with a soda in his hands and watches Shima try to pick up some girls. A tall blonde haired boy walked over, though he looks way to old to be a senior. He tried to start up a conversation with Ryuuji, he was very flirty, but he wasn’t having it. It felt weird to have someone other than Rin be flirty towards him. It felt wrong. The guy walks away, but his eyes linger on Ryuuji from the other side of the room. He keeps his eyes away from the blonde and scans the room for Shima, he wanted to go home and he didn’t want to just leave, so he tried to find him and let him know. His eyes spot a messy mop of black hair a few inches shorter than Ryuuji and his heart skipped a beat. 

From the back, it looks exactly like Rin, but when he turns around, it’s not him. Brown eyes, crooked nose, yellowing teeth. No slightly pointy ears, or tiny fangs. He’s just a regular person. Ryuuji walks out. He waits outside for Shima. The blonde follows him and shrugs his shoulders. He has the person with the black hair under his arm. 

“You’re gonna miss out, sure you don’t want to jump in on the fun?” He asked. Ryuuji shook his head and turns back to the door, waiting for Shima to walk out. Ryuuji got tired of waiting so he texted Shima and walked back towards their dorm and slept until late noon, not caring that me missed his classes. 

Month six, Yukio returned to school and to work. Everyone at school who didn’t know is under the impression that Rin committed suicide. Which is basically what happened when he jumped through those gates. Kuro has waves of being in denial of Rin’s death and then waves where he knows he’s not coming back. It wasn’t like this with Shiro, he had Rin and Yukio to tell him all about Shiro. Yes, Kuro has Yukio, but part of him still blames Yukio for what happened to Rin. Yukio still blames himself. 

Ryuuji hasn’t gotten much better. He only got better at hiding everything from them. Despite all of his friends grieving and keeping an eye out for each other, they’re not the most observant. Ryuuji visit’s Rin’s headstone everyday. It’s not like his body is decaying in a casket blow. It’s probably rotting away in Gehenna or serving as food for lower level demons. Whatever it may be, Ryuuji visits his grave every morning to the point where the guys at the Monastery started setting out food trays. This morning, it’s scrambled eggs

“Your story telling to how bad their cooking is doesn’t do a justice. These eggs are salty enough I could ward of a demon,” Ryuuji says, through another mouth full of the salty eggs. He eats it anyway because it brings him closer to Rin. Closer than when he were alive and in Assiah… There really isn’t a solid, sound logic behind it, but it’s whatever gets him through the day. 

“I did almost everything you asked-” his eyes fixate on the jar of Lollipops. He reaches for one, leaving the hair clip inside. “Kuro forgives Yukio, or he’s very good at pretending to be civil towards him. I forgave Yukio. I know he couldn’t have known that was going to happen and that you would give your life to save all of us. I’m not forgiving myself for what I did, Rin. I don’t think I ever can and you can’t hold it against me because it wasn’t on your list. I also don’t think I’ll ever move on from you. It’s not something I have the capacity to do. You’re most likely screaming at me from where ever you are, but I’m not moving on.” His watch beeps to let him know that he should leave now so he can get to school on time. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He gets up, kisses his hand and places it on the top of the headstone. He drops his plate off in the kitchen of the monastery and makes his way to his classes. 

He was a few minutes late, but no one holds it against him. Mephisto told all of the teachers about him and Rin and they were more accepting than some of the students. If he’s ever late they know he’s at the grave, visiting him.

“How was it?” Koneko asks when Ryuuji sinks down into his chair.

“Fine, the guys at the monastery need to learn how to cook, I think I’m going to get sodium poisoning if I have another plate of salty eggs,” They all snicker. Ryuuji forces a snicker, he doesn’t really feel like laughing, but he does anyway so he doesn’t raise any red flags. 

If this is the new normal, a normal without Rin, Ryuuji doesn’t want any part of it. He wants Rin back in his arms. He wants late nights, cereal for dinner, nerf gun battles back. He wants the laser tags and the endless war of stealing the lollipop jar back. He wants everything and everyone he lost back. He doesn’t know how much longer he is going to last without Rin.


	2. Chapter 2

Yukio takes his class out on a mission; There’s a hotel that was set to be demolished that’s infested with ghouls and Coal Tar. There are a bunch of other exorcists on the site in groups and they’ve all been given a floor to go clear. Yukio and his class were given the 7th floor and for the most part, the only abundant creature was the Coal Tar and they're virtually harmless. Yes, too many Coal Tar can cause respiratory issues, but there aren’t a lot here. A few clusters of ghouls here and there. It’s a seemingly easy mission, a “fun” way to spend their morning. 

The ground rumbles a little bit, just like it did when the Gehenna gates were opened six months ago. Ryuuji is too busy punching a ghoul off of Koneko to realize it at first but when he does, Rin’s screams echo through his head and he freezes, flashbacks flooding his head as more and more ghouls come barreling down the hall. Ryuuji turns around and sees a Ghoul flying towards him. He doesn’t have time to prepare to keep it away from him so he braces for impact. He shields his head with his hands and crunches in a small all.

It never hits him. 

It gets super bright and kind of warm, and he hears the ghouls screeching, but he doesn't get attacked by one. Ryuuji untucks himself and looks around. All of the ghouls are burning. 

They’re burning in blue flames. The whole room is lit up in flames. 

The familiarity of it all makes Ryuuji’s heart skip a beat. He runs out of the hall, and sees the Coal Tar burning as well. Ryuuji screams for Rin, but he doesn’t show. Ryuuji turns his head so fast he could have snapped it when he heard footsteps behind him. It’s Yukio. It’s not him producing these flames, seeing as he as well is the son of Satan. It has to be Rin. There is no way in Hell Satan will ever do something like this. Ryuuji sticks his hand out to test his theory.

His hand doesn’t burn. It’s warm, but not uncomfortable. Like tea that’s been sitting out for a little bit so it’s not burning the roof of your mouth. Ryuuji has a gut feeling that it is Rin, and lately he has been very spot on with this type of stuff. The flames die, and there are no more Coal Tar or Ghouls. Ryuuji runs through the halls, bursting into the rooms, trying to find him but he’s not anywhere. Ryuuji feels his heart fall to the floor at the realization that Rin isn’t here. All of the exorcists are shaken up as they all walk out of the hotel. It’s not charred at all, though it would help with the demolition. The only thing that burned was the demons inside. 

“This can’t be Satan’s doing. He only knows destruction,” an exorcist says, brushing the dirt off of his sleeves. 

“Could it be Rin Okumura?” One asks

“Didn’t you hear? He’s dead. They must have killed him in Gehenna,” another replies 

“Regardless, it made our job a hell of a lot easier,” the one dusting his sleeves says. “Well, after this I’m off the clock. Drinks, anyone?” Some nod their heads and join him. Shima watches them longing, because he too wants to go join them for drinks. Mainly just for the drinks and not the laughs and stories inbetween. Ryuuji looks back at the hotel, waiting to see Rin poke his head out of a window or for him to come walking out of the door. Yukio does a head count of the students and they all start walking to the bus, but Ryuuji stays rooted to the ground. Kuro bites the bottom hem of his pants and pulls towards the bus. Ryuuji snaps out of his fixation, and drags his feet back to the bus. 

“It couldn’t have been Rin,” Yukio mumbles to Ryuuji.

“So we’re really going to believe demons? A-And Mephisto Pheles of all people?”  
“They know more of what’s going on in Gehenna than we do,” Yukio replies. “I hate that he’s gone just as much as you do, if not more, but you have to think: would he want us moping around like this? No.” Ryuuji can tell Yukio sees the fault in all of this. Rin must be alive. Theres no way in hell that Satan would do that. No matter the deal he made with Rin, they all know that he would never keep true to his deal. It’s just who he is. Ryuuji isn’t going to give up. Especially since that entire place went up and didn’t burn - Satan would have burned it to the ground for shits and giggles. Ryuuji walks back to his dorm with haste, having a brilliant but also very juvenile plan. He grabs two candles, and he goes up to the roof of Rin’s dorm. He sets them out, putting a sticky note that says Yes in front of one and then No in front of the other.

“Rin? You there?” He asks, not sure why he’s doing this like a ouija board but he’s desperate. He waits and waits and waits and nothing.”So you can burn all of the ghouls and Coal Tar but you can’t light a goddamned candle? What the fuck man?” He wait. “C’mon, Rin, please be there or here.” nothing 

___________________________________________

“You’re not going to come home this year, Mephisto?” Amaimon asks, hanging upside down from the ceiling in Mephisto’s office 

“Now when have I ever gone home willingly?” Mephisto asks, popping a candy in his mouth. “It’s a foul smelling plac full with desperation and dad. So no thanks, I’ll stay in Assiah. Tell dear old Dad I say hello.” Amaimon jumps from the ceiling.

“We both know Father wouldn’t like that very much. I’m sure Assiah will be standing when you return,” Mephisto cocks his eyebrow, knowing that Satan will poke fun at that comment. He is everywhere and hears everything. “C’mon, it’s important. I don’t know what he wants but he said it’s important. Just one family dinner. You haven’t been to one in forever,”

“That’s how I like it, brother,” Mephisto says. Amaimon shrugs his shoulders.

“I’ll just have Erebus come and retrieve you. He’s dads favourite,”

“He’s not even his son,”

“Nevertheless, his power is growing, maybe even greater than yours,” Amaimon fishes the demon key out of his pocket. “Your choice, me or Erebus.” He sticks the key in a door and walks through it, disappearing into Gehenna. Mephisto, takes his own key and uses it. Gehenna is as foul as he remembers. Tortured souls screaming and weeping, the smell of death is something that’s going to take weeks to get out of his usual ostentatious outfit. Satan, in the form of a white wolf smiles at Mephisto.

“Mephistopheles, how long has it been?”

“Not long enough,” He replies. “What do I owe this pleasure of being requested here in Gehenna?” 

“Let’s wait for the others, shall we? I know Azazeal is tied up with the Grigori. We’ll start when he gets here,” Satan says, jumping up on a couch in the lounge. 

“Then I’m going to go back to Assiah, have Amaimon come-”  
“C’mon Mephisto, I haven’t seen you in forever, let’s catch up, shall we?” His blonde haired brother, Lucifer says, draping his arm around Mephisto’s shoulder. “I have something you might want.” He whispers softly so no one hears. They walk out to the terrace, closing the doors behind them. 

“What is it, Luci?”

“What do you mean?” he asks from behind a glass of some demonic liquor. Mephisto always preferred the stuff from Assiah. He’s always had a sweet tooth. 

“You’re never this nice and welcoming to me. What do you want?” Mephisto folds his arms skeptically, looking at all of the demons and ghouls crawling around, and the Coal Tar floating like plankton in water. 

“I’m starting to see why you don’t like being in Gehenna,” Lucifer says, taking a sip of his drink. “I found out father lied.” 

“When doesn’t he lie?”

“To us? His own flesh and blood? It’s not something he has ever done, Mephisto, So I did some digging-”

“Can you jump to the point, please?” 

“Easy,” Lucifer says, his tone having the a familiar bite to it. “Look, I have something you want and you have something I want,” Mephisto furrows his eyebrows. Lucifer pulls his jacket back and Mephisto sees the handle of Kurikara, poking out. Mephisto’s mouth hangs open in surprise. 

“What did he lie about?” Mephisto asks. Satan not only told everyone Rin is dead, but he said that Kurikara was destroyed. Mephisto never truly backed his father, childhood trauma and all, but now, for once in his life he is siding with Lucifer. His brother who from the beginning has hated him. Mephisto thought all of the schemes ended when Rin went to Gehenna and when he died, but apparently not. Another game is being played. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWE SHITTTT
> 
> I have about 7 chapters lock and loaded to be posted, but I've decided, every Friday I am going to post a new chapter for this fic specifically. I'm trying to get onto a solid schedule so everything isn't so erratic and inconsistent. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!!! Ilysm!  
> XOXO Tai


	3. Chapter 3

“You can’t blame me for trying,” Ryuuji says. 

“But I can! Lord know what type of demons and poltergeists you are letting into the academy!” Yukio says, looking down at the Ouija board. “The candles are one thing, but playing with one of these is another thing.”

“The candles were getting me no where! You know that I can contact him through this-”

“You can also let Pazuzu in to the academy and you know how deadly that demon is,” Yukio says. 

“I was careful-”

“-No matter how careful you think you are, he always finds a way. I’m sorry Ryuuji, but you have to move on from this. He is gone, there isn’t a way to bring him back.”

“So we’re going to assume that those flames last week are Satan’s and we’re just going to pretend that Satan held true to what ever deal he and Rin made? You do know who you’re talking about, right?” Yukio holds himself back from ripping Ryuuji a new one. 

“Go back to your dorm,” he says, his voice dark. “Go back to your dorm and study or play with the candles, but you are not playing with a ouija board to contact him. No one is equipped right now to deal with  _ him _ .” 

“Then get equipped, I’m not going to leave him stranded there.”

“He’s gone!” Yukio yells, losing it “He’s not coming back! He is gone. You’re going to get suspended or worse if you continue playing around with that board. He is never coming back. His body has already decayed. He’s dead.” Ryuuji swipes everything off of Yukio’s desk, not caring what gets broken or what is shattering or the mess that follows. He storms all the way up to Mephisto’s office. He bursts into his office, not even caring about what Mephisto is doing.

“How do we get him back?” Ryuuji asks. 

“Who, Rin?” He asks. “Oh, my dear child, theres no way of getting him back.” He reaches into his desk and pulls out a pamphlet for a grief counselor. “Here, this should help you out a little bit,” He grabs a notecard and scribbles something down. “This is a pass for all of your tests. Go take some time to grief.” Mephisto sends him out of his office and Ryuuji’s fist curls around the pamphlet. He takes the long way back to the dorm and he stops at Rin’s favourite bridge. He remembers how his last day he was walking on the railing, drunk, close to falling. He was laughing about the thought of falling a sickening amount of feet down to the ground. Ryuuji wishes he could go inside of his head and figure out what was going through Rin’s mind. 

He looks at the pamphlet, maybe it is a good idea to check this out. He’s running himself ragged trying to find him because of that damned mission. The guys and Shiemi are trying to help move him along and get him out, going out for lunch, seeing movies, simple things. Ryuuji never does because what if Rin comes back and there isn’t anyone there to welcome him? He doesn’t want to be off hanging out at a movie when Rin could be here, waiting for him or trying to find him or hurt. He doesn’t want to give up, but maybe it’s the way to go. He tries to smooth out the pamphlet so he can read the office hours, seriously considering it. 

Then it happens again. 

The pamphlet lights up. Blue flames burn it in seconds and they creep up Ryuuji’s arms and slowly die. Nothing else burned but the paper. Ryuuji frantically looks around, trying to find him, but nothing. He races back to the dorm, grabs the candles with the yes / no sticky notes and arrives back at the bridge. In the same spot where the pamphlet burned and where Rin was teetering on the edge of falling off of the railing, he sets up the candles. 

“C’mon Rin, I know its you,” Ryuuji says. Nothing. “I did  _ everything _ you asked. I did it all. I didn’t want to do most of it. I wanted to punch Yukio in the throat as he gave up on you but I didn’t. Kuro can finally accept being in the same room as him. I was good. Just for you. Just because you asked. Jus-” A sob racks his body “Just please,  _ please _ don’t be gone.” Nothing still. He can’t stop the tears this time. His whole body shakes and he gasps for air as an internal war of letting Rin go and holding on wages inside of him.

__________

“The poor boy is torturing himself over this,” Mephisto says. Lucifer shrugs his shoulders. “Both of them are.”

“We need the emotion,” Lucifer says. Mephisto furrows his eyebrows “Watch, he’s tearing himself apart over Rin, all of that raw, untapped emotion is what we need. The secret ingredient.”

“The real emotion would be telling him that-”

“No, trust me, brother. I know what I’m doing. 

“You of all people are asking me to trust you?” Mephisto crosses his arms. “We-”

“You tell him a thing, I’ll pin this all on you,”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one who is more ‘in touch with his emotions’ and are the only demon that feels guilt and pity?” 

“I have my reasons, brother. This pains me as much as it pains him,” Lucifer turns away from Ryuuji who is sobbing on the bridge, saying Rin was right there and he split through his fingers, as he did once before. “Bring him to that therapist, will you? Can’t have rouge ones running around.” Mephisto rolls his eyes. 

Shima and Koneko come running towards Ryuuji, having never seen him completely break down like this. They’ve seen him as a shell of himself, but never breaking down like this. 

“He was right here!” He says “I had a pamphlet Mephisto gave me and, and it went up. Like the ghouls did.” He looks up at the darkening sky, not believing Rin is up there. It’s a gut feeling, a feeling that you can’t explain. “He’s no dead,” Ryuuji says. Shima and Koneko give each other looks. The same looks they give each other every time Ryuuji hears something and snaps his head around, hoping it’s Rin. The look they gave each other when Ryuuji came home with a ouija board. The same look they gave each other when Ryuuji ran home today to get the candles. 

“Shiemi is making tea and Izumo picked out a movie, c’mon, it’s getting cold out,” They help him up to his feet and they walk away from the bridge. 

_____________

“I don’t know whats more torture, putting up with Erebus or you,” Lucifer laughs. 

“You need to behave and keep your head down. No more slip ups like that,” Lucifer walks out of the cool cell. The cool air is honestly refreshing seeing as Hell is not only 50 shades of foul odors, but has winters as cold as Australia's summers. Except for the cells. Those were designed to be cold. 

“Oh by the way,” Lucifer turns around be fore exiting the room. He reaches into his pocket and posses a lollipop at him. “Enjoy.”

“ _ Manducare stercore Mephistophilis _ ,” He snarls in Latin. Mephisto chuckles and leaves the cell, closing the door with a heavy slam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all had a not too suspenseful week waiting for this chapter!! I have about 10 chapters and continuing outlined and drafted right now!! I am still working out some kinks in my uploading schedule to make it maybe twice a week or what not, so bare with me
> 
> as always, thank you for reading this chapter!!!  
> XOXO Tai


	4. Chapter 4

Ryuuji flops on his bed after seeing that grief therapist. Shima picked him up from the office and he knows from the look on his face that it didn’t go well. Koneko goes to ask him how it went when they got home but Shima violently shook his head with wide eyes. Ryuuji slinked off to the bathroom to shower.

“He’s not doing so well, huh?”

“Nope,” Shima replies. “Do you really blame him though?” Shima looks at the pamphlet Ryuuji swears went up in flames the other day. “I’m sure after a few sessions he’ll be back to normal, right?” 

“Hopefully,” Koneko agrees. “Anyway, apparently there has been a lot of lower level demon activity back home. Nothing too bad.”  
“Yeah, we saw huge clumps of Coal Tar on the ride to and from the therapists office,” Shima says. He walks over to the mini fridge and pulls out a soda. He walks back over to one of he chairs to finish his hushed conversation with Koneko and Ryuuji comes out of the bathroom. He sits down at his desk wordlessly and dives right into a world of school work that he’s missed from being absent minded too much in all of his classes. Its painful to see him like this, falling behind in his classes, given pity grades because they all know he’s trying his best given the circumstances. 

______________________

“I don’t think this is going to work, brother,” Mephisto says. “I mean, wouldn’t we have to get Erebus on our side?” 

“We have Lilith. She’ll help convince the others,”

“But Amaimon…..”

“Is as devout to Dad as the rest of them, I know. Look, we have Lilith on our side, Erebus doesn’t stand a chance against her when she’s fully healed. Don’t worry about the other one, I have all of that under control.”

“But-”

“Mephistopheles, he is behaving as he said he would. No more slip ups. Now keep your head down and do what ever it is you do in Assiah. Leave before anyone sees you and gets suspicious. You’re never in Gehenna, any and every demon knows it. Go, the people of Assiah will be able to smell the Ghenna stench off of you,” Lucifer says.

“I still don’t trust you,” Mephisto says.

“Valid,” Lucifer replies. “Next time you come here, maybe bring some liquor, will you? Been having a sweet tooth lately.” Mephisto rolls his eyes “Thank you, brother.” He calls after him as Mephisto disappears behind a door magicked to lead right back to his office. He discards his clothes, burning them, and grabbing some new ones that smell more like Assiah and less like the mixture of feces, rot and blood. He acts as if everything is business as usual, keeping Amaimon at an arms length when the two grew up sharing a room together, and causing trouble inside of the castle. Mephisto hopes that Amaimon doesn’t sense anything is amiss with Mephisto, those two were in cahoots into getting Rin last year to go completely feral. They were told by Satan to do so and they were good children and they did what they were told. 

Mephisto guessed that this time around, Satan used torture to get Rin to go feral and when it didn’t work because the kid learned some self control, Satan resorted to just killing him. As he does with everyone who doesn’t do what he wants them to do. At least, that’s what Mephisto thought. Now, he doesn’t now what he believes. Yes, Satan sits on a throne of lies, but he’s always told his children everything truthfully. Why he just started lying now, is beside him, but Mephisto knows one things for sure, maybe trusting Lucifer isn’t the best idea. 

Yet, caught in a vicious cyle of blind trust, Mephisto does as his brother tells him to, evading any speculation, becoming less involved with the Vatican and above all covering his tracks better. If the Vatican catches wind of another conspiracy faintly related to Gehenna and Satan or Lucifer, the Vatican will be all “off with his head.” Not seriously since they’re not Henry the Eighth and Mephisto isn’t Ann Boleyn. 

___

Weeks of laying in wait feel much longer than Mephisto thought it would be. Keeping an eye on Ryuuji and Yukio, the two wild cards that could blow this whole plan up. It felt like years. Even though it was only four weeks. It’s cold outside now, and the leaves are turning brown and trees stand leafless. Perfect time for their little shenanigans. Mephisto floats high in the sky on his arm chair and watches with a bag of popcorn. He even brings a chair for Lucifer. 

“Everything is in place, Brother, all we do is wait,” Mephisto is beaming with excitement. “He will pull through, don’t you worry.”

“You sound like the one who is worried, not me, brother. The ground begins to shake and everyone in the Vatican goes through earthquake procedures, only it’s not an earthquake and they realise it a little to late. Lilith, drenched in blood, sneaks out of a small Gehenna gate in the ground. She goes unnoticed and slips into the shadows as she does. The gates get bigger and erupt in the blue flames as he merges from the gates.

Covered in blood, his own and he blood of others. His arm is bent in a sickly manner. He is growling farrelly as he carries a severed head in his hand. A head that takes the Vatican minutes to identify. He drops the head on the ground and he falls along with it, turning back into the boy they all know, only this time a little more damaged than before.

When everyone is sure it’s safe, they flood the scene exorcists over the medics and forensics. They load the boy on a stretcher. His breathing is shattered and his lung is collapsed. Theres most likely so many more internal injuries. The medics look at each other, panicked that this boy isn’t going to make it. From the physical looks of everything, he’s been to hell and back. Forensics take the head even though they know who it belongs to. They know that a lot of people are going to be both relieved at the sight of this severed head as well as horrified. This day will go down in history. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided, if I'm going to make y'all wait a week to read the next chapter, I'm going to post two at a time, it's only fair. 
> 
> XOXO  
> Tai


	5. Chapter 5

Yukio gets the call halfway through his Demon Pharmaceuticals class. He looks directly to Ryuuji. Kuro scampers over to Yukio and jumps up on his shoulder to hear the call better. Ryuuji watches, his leg bouncing anxiously. Yukio’s eyes as well as Kuro’s get super wide. Yukio drops his phone and runs out of the room. Kuro leaps over to Ryuuji and starts meowing frantically, taking a moment to realise that he doesn’t understand him like Rin did. Kuro bites the hem of Ryuuji’s sleeve and tries to drag him towards the door after Yukio. Ryuuji gets up an follows Kuro until they’re at the end of the hallway while Yukio is fumbling with a key ring. His hands are shaking and he’s hear hyperventilation. 

“What is it? What happened?” Ryuuji asks. Yukio looks at Ryuuji through glassy eyes. 

“They found him,” He says. Yukio pulls out the infinity key. 

“Is he, is he dead?” 

“Barely hanging in there,” Yukio says, wiping the door open.

“He’s alive?”

“Barely,” Yukio runs through the halls. Ryuuji runs after him. Shima, Koneko, Shiemi and Izumo follow as well, only hearing the last bit of the conversation. They sit in the waiting room. Mephisto walks in with a cup of tea and some cookies on a saucer.

“You lied,”

“No, I was told he was dead,” Mephisto says, taking a sip of his tea “I found out just now that he was alive. Satan lied.”

“Wow, big surprise,” Ryuuji says sarcastically, ready to smack that tea cup out of Mephisto’s hand. 

“Very surprising, actually. Satan never lied to his children. Other demons, humans, yes, his children, no. Happy he’s gone,” Everyone's jaws drop. “Oh didn’t you hear? He cut the head off of the snake. Rin killed Satan without thinking twice. The rest on how he got up to Assiah is fuzzy, no one has a clear story. It was one  _ hell _ of a battle.” he giggles at his pun from behind a cookie. “He’s the Vatican’s new golden boy.” 

“He killed Satan?” Ryuuji mutters, remembering how on the camping trip that feels ten years away, they all teamed up saying the whole lot of them will all kill Satan together. Then here Rin is, doing it all on his own as he’s always done. 

“Yes. Fought off Erebus too. Though that miscreant has gone topside like a bunch of others that he tortured,”  
“Rin tortured people?” Yukio asks. 

“No, Erebus did. Lord have mercy on the humans he comes across. He was Satan’s favourite. Forget his own flesh and blood, am I right?” He finishes the cookie in two bites and washes it down with some tea. His phone beeps and he smiles evilly. “Well, duty calls, auf wiedersehen, bis später kinder.” he winks and he walks off the way he came. 

“Shouldn’t his demon healing kicked in?” Shima asks.

“Not unless his body is overwhelmed with injuries. He is human after all. A small cut here and there, he’ll be fine. I don’t know the extension of his injuries from what ever the fuck happened in Gehenna,” Yukio says anxiously. A doctor comes through the OR doors. 

“It’s going to be a few more hours, theres a lot with his kid,” he says, his voice dark. “A serious concussion, multiple rib fractures, a broken rip that’s puncturing a lung, the other lung is collapsed, severe internal bleeding, his spine needs a lot of attention, broken fingers, some bones of his have been broken months ago and they never healed correctly so we’re fixing those.”

“Is he going to make it?” Ryuuji asks. 

“We’re doing everything we can,” He says. Ryuuji knows as well as the next person that doctors can’t guarantee all the time saving someone. Especially with the rap sheet Rin has. “If he makes it physically, there is no telling the mental damage. Most of his injuries that have scared over are consistent with those of people who have been tortured-” the air is being sucked out of Ryuuji’s lungs. “-And sexually assaulted. We have our best doctors working on him and if you so chose, we can have a psych team on stand by for when he is awake and responsive. 

“We’ll see how he is when he wakes up before we start making those type of decisions,” Yukio says. “How many more hours will it be?”

“My guess is greater than 15 hours if everything goes well,” His pager beeps and he tries to hide the worry on his face. “I have to go, but I will do my best to save your brother. He is a hero after all.” He disappears behind the OR doors. Yukio turns to his students. 

“All of you, go back to school. Your next class begins in thirty minutes-” he waves over an exorcist for them to use their infinity key to bring them all back to the academy. Ryuuji stays. Despite everyone trying to get him back to the academy, he sits back down in his chair. Yukio doesn’t tell him to leave. Everyone else does. Not because they don’t love Rin as much as those two do, but because waiting for 15 hours is going to be brutal. Plus it takes the patience of a saint to be able to wait that long and no one is more equipped for that than Yukio. 

“You were right,” Yukio says after a long while. Not long enough to make a dent in their 15 hour wait minimum. “I should have believed you and fought for answers.”

“You were hurt and grieving. Thinking about it hurt, I get it,”

Yukio looks at him out of the corner of his eye “Therapy changed you.” 

“It helped keep the guilt at bay,” Ryuuji said “What if I went to him sooner, what would have happened? What if I was strong enough to save him from jumping in the gates? You yelling at me like you did was your way of grieving. You wanted everything to stay buried. I get it. I buried it but it just exploded.” 

“You love him, huh?” Ryuuji nods his head. 

“Haven’t stopped,” He says. “He wrote me a letter, telling me to let him go, to forgive you and help Kuro forgive you. I did everything but let him go. I’m not going to do that. I can’t.” 

“The why where you so angry at him when you found out we’re the son of Satan?”

“I don’t know,” His head falls into his hands. “I haven’t got that far in therapy.” He says half as a joke but half as him being serious. Ryuuji picks his brain for a moment, thinking about why he acted the way he did. “I think I was more pissed off about the fact that he was carrying everything alone and didn’t tell anyone. I mean, if he told me on one of the first days we started talking, I think I would have been shocked, but I wouldn’t have felt so betrayed. I spilled my entire life out to him and he never said anything to me. I know its a selfish thing to say, but I felt betrayed he never said anything to me. I know he was scared I would react how I reacted. I realised it all way to late. I realised that my anger towards him for not telling me manifested in hostility.”

“I don’t think you need therapy if you can come to that conclusion,” Yukio says. They lapse into silence. 

“What was it like when Satan possess you?”

“Weird. I had access to all of his memories. I saw my mother, heard her voice for the first time. I wish Rin could have seen it, he looks like her. Me more than him. He really takes after Satan, only with our dads mannerisms,” He chuckles at that, looking back at how much of Rin’s attitude was learned from Shiro. Whenever Rin was being a pain in the ass, he was really just acting like Shiro. The two weave in and out of silence and conversation. It helps pass the time by and keep the thoughts of Rin not making it at bay. They lose track of the hours and if either have had anything Kuro anxiously sits in Ryuuji’s lap, at hour nine Ryuuji falls asleep, as does Yukio. The staff brings them a blanket and some food for when they wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG


	6. Chapter 6

Rin is hooked up to so many wires and tubes it makes Yukio’s head spin. They say he’s stable for now and that in a few days of recovery his demon healing should kick in. Turns out being half demon makes the healing have limitations. Yukio tells Ryuuji that he doesn’t have to sit in the room with him an Rin and that he should probably get home and get some sleep and go to school. Ryuuji ignores him and sits right at Rin’s bedside. He’s covered in bandages. It’s going to be a miracle he walks away from this without demon healing. 

“Seriously, Suguro, you should go home, get some sleep,”

“I slept in the waiting room,”

“No, look, he’s going to be out for a while. We both know Rin loves his sleep. Even when he wakes up, he’s most likely going to fall right back asleep,” He takes the key out of is pocket and is about to use it on the door when a tall, blonde haired man walks in. Ryuuji vaguely remembers his face. In his hands is Kurikara. He’s dressed in the typical Vatican gear

“You’re not part of the Vatican,” Yukio says. The blonde haired man smiles. 

“Correct,” he hands Yukio the sword and extends his hand out to him and introduces himself “Lucifer. I helped your brother escape Gehenna.”

“What did he promise you?”

“To stay out of the Illuminati's hair if I stayed out of the Vatican’s. Sometimes we have conflict of interest. Love-hate relationship, honestly. He did wonderfully against Satan, I’m really proud of him. As happy as I am that he’s returned home, he’s not safe,”

“What, are you going to bring him back to Gehenna? Or some place worse?” Ryuuji asks.   
“No,” Lucifer replies. “Just here to give you guys a heads up. The demon in charge of his torturing, Erebus, has gone topside. I know Mephisto told you. I have a proposition-”

“No”

“Listen, will you? I’ll help keep Erebus away from Rin to the best of my ability if you further the Vatican staying away from the Illuminati. It’s my life's work,” Ryuuji and Yukio give one another weird looks. “You can have time to sleep on it. Rin did the same thing when I gave him my initial deal. I’m glad he’s going to make it.”  
“And if he doesn’t?”

“He will. A demon knows,” Lucifer says, tapping his finger to the side of his head. His eyes lock with Ryuuji’s and he winks before leaving the room. Yukio stares down at Kurikara. He unsheaths it, no cracks, no nicks, it’s a little bloodstained, but it looks as it did when he left. It didn’t take much for Amaimon to make it crack, so surely Satan could have gotten it to crack. The whole story of how everything went down is fuzzy and the only people who know are either avoiding Yukio or are lying unconscious in a hospital bed in the heart of the Vatican. 

Yukio practically drags Ryuuji out of Rin’s room so he can shower and get some school stuff done. It didn’t take long before people found out that Rin isn’t actually dead. Ryuuji and the others spun it around saying that he was sent to an institute because of a suicide attempt. Ryuuji bursts into the Vatican like a bat out of hell, to get to Rin’s room. Kuro is standing guard in Rin’s room. He still hasn’t woken up yet and Doctors are putting wires on his head that are hooked up to a monitor.

“We had to fight him off,” One of the doctors chuckles “Wouldn’t let us touch Rin.” Kuro jumps up onto Ryuuji’s shoulder.

“What are you guys doing?”

“We are just monitoring his brain activity. He did have a serious concussion, we need to see if he didn’t go brain dead since he came out of the surgery. He should be breathing on his own very soon,” Ryuuji sits down in the chair by Rin’s bedside, and he holds his hand. It’s not cold or stiff. It’s covered in bandages from rebroken fingers to be set right. 

“Can you tell if his demon healing has kicked in?”

“No, we can’t tell. The extent of his injuries where near fatal. The adrenaline from the fight and going all feral helped clear some fo the damage but when he collapsed and became him again, his body became overwhelmed with everything and it kind of shut down. He should be waking up soon and breathing on his own,” Ryuuji looks up at the tube in Rin’s mouth. He tells himself over and over again that everything will be fine. He looks at the monitor and the doctor smiles. He points to the monitor’s screen “See? His brain is working just fine. These injuries take a bit to heal, regardless if you’re half demon. I’ll be back soon to check up on him. You know where the call button is if you need anything, right?” Ryuuji nods. The doctor leaves the room and it’s just Ryuuji, Kuro and Rin. Kuro jumps onto Rin’s bed, careful not to hit any sorespots, and he curls up on the pillow right next to Rin’s head. Shiemi shly walks into the room, carrying a small bag.

“Hello Suguro, Kuro, and Rin,” She says cheerfully. She grabs a tray from the corner of the room and sets it next to Ryuuji. She starts unloading food out of the bag, all Rin and Ryuuji’s favourites, along with the jar of Lollipops. “Eat up, the boys are grabbing papers and hand outs from school for you. I heard them say you haven’t been taking care of yourself, so eat up.” She brings a chair to the other side of the tray. 

“Thank you,” Ryuuji says, reaching for a sandwich. 

“You don’t have to worry, I’m positive he’ going to wake up and everything will pick up right where it all left off,” She says, her green eyes glimmering with hope. Ryuuji doesn’t believe everything will go back to normal, but he sure as hell hopes it will. He nods in agreement, knowing she has always been bursting at the seams with optimism. 

“They say there are psychiatrists on stand by for when he wakes up to help him with any PTSD but Rin is strong. He’s going to be all okay,” She says. “Tea?” Ryuuji nods, knowing if he says no she’s going to pour him some anyway. They eat silently, listening to Kuro’s soft snores and the beeps and hisses from all of the tubes and wires going in and out of Rin. The guys come in with Izumo trailing behind them with a small folder of papers.

“I have notes of everything, they’re all in the dorm room though,” Koneko says. “How’s he doing?”

“No change,” Ryuuji says, taking a sip of his 3rd cup of tea. 

“But when there is a change it will be positive,” Shiemi says. Her optimism falters at the silence in the room. It’s silent for a long while. Shima and Koneko talk about the only safe subject they can talk about, and that is school. They tell stories of annoying teachers, catty girls being annoying which gets Izumo going off on how annoying some of the girls are in her classes. Ryuuji half listens, everything is washed out by his hyperfixation on the beeps and hisses from the machines keeping Rin alive. 

Their conversation dies, and they finish the tea and food Shiemi brought. It’s a near uncomfortable silence before the beeping starts to pick up and screens begin to blink and Rin’s body begins to convulse and he makes horrifying choking noises. Ryuuji screams for someone to help as he tries to hold Rin down to the bed so he doesn’t injure himself further. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dumbass posed these chapters onto another fic I'm so out of it AA


	7. Chapter 7

The kids are all kicked out of he room while the doctors do their thing. Ryuuji feels the floor falling out beneath his feet. He hears monitors beeping frantically, and doctors telling at each other. They’re in there for an eternity before the door slowly opens. 

“Everything is fine, he was just breathing against the respirator,” The doctor says. Yukio comes running down the hall. “He is still out, but he is breathing on his own. This recovery is going to be a long one. He is recovering both mentally and physically, it’s going to take a lot of time.” The doctor is paged and he excuses himself and walks away. They all go back into the room. He is still hooked up to a lot of machines, but he doesn’t have this bulky tube down his throat. All of the monitors are beeping and things are clicking and he still looks lifeless. 

Shiemi goes back home to make more food for everyone because they have to take care of themselves too and Rin saved them all from Satan so she has to do something for him - make sure everyone is fed and isn’t dehydrated. Yukio, as the days go by, onl looks more and more pissed off. He forces everyone to go to school and keeps them all out of Rin’s room while he is in a coma-like state. The doctors are all saying he should wake up any moment. His vitals are getting better, he is breathing on his own, his back which was a serious area of concern has gotten better, so his demon healing has kicked in a little bit. They’re saying in a matter of hours he should be awake and then in a matter of days to weeks he should be fine and walking around. Granted, he will still be sore and no one knows what his mental state is going to be. Lord knows what has happened in Gehenna. 

Despite Yukio’s instructions, Ryuuji snuck into Rin’s room. He sits at the bedside, watching all of the monitors. He looks at Rin’s face that is slowly going gaunt and is getting paler by the day. 

“I’m sorry, Rin,” He says softly. He reaches out and holds his hand. “I’m so so sorry. I didn’t- I don’t know why I acted the way I did. I don’t know why it took me so fucking long to realize that this ws a dumb thing to be pissed about. I was trying to protect Koneko… I think. I don’t know I know an apology isn’t going to cut it, but please pull through and wake up,” He feels tears well up in his eyes. “I know I did this to you. I know you want to let go and wither away, but please, Rin, please don’t.” His brain wave monitor spikes a little bit, meaning theres more brain activity. 

“I’m probably the last person you want here right now, but I want to make it all better. I want to take you far, far away from all of this, have it be just the two of us in the middle of the woods, in a nice little cabin, looking up at the stars every night, just you me and Kuro. Holding onto that fantasy kept me going these last six months and I know I’m playing the victim and I know you had it worse in Gehenna, but I missed you more than words can describe because through the irrational fear and anger, I still love you,” Rin’s hand twitches. “I still love you with ever fibre of my being even though you told me not to. Even though you told me to forget you. I tried. I tried because I would do anything for you, but not that. Never that,” Ryuuji chuckles softly. “As cheesy and not like me as this sounds, you are honestly the air in my lungs. So please, if not for me, for Yukio or for Kuro wake up. Just- just please be okay and wake up because I cannot bury you twice.” 

_________________________________________

“He has been out for two weeks and you’re not in the slightest concerned?” Ryuuji says, fed up with Rin’s doctor not giving anyone straight answers on his recovery.

“Well, it is possible that he is in a coma,” The doctor shrugs.

“Bring him out of it!”

“I don’t think I can,”

“Bullshit,” Ryuuji says “You are more than capable of bringing him out of this coma and you know it. So do it.”

“We’ll have to do a brain scan then an exploratory-”

“You did brain scans yesterday,” Ryuuji says, furrowing his eyebrows. “What are you guys doing to him?”

“Look, it’s a miracle that he even got a one hit on Satan. Even more a miracle that he survived. Our mane concern here in the Vatican is making sure the mass population is safe. We have reason to believe that if we keep him in a coma than he wont flame out and potentially harm a lot of people. We don’t know what his motives are.”

“What if his motives are to just come home and be somewhere safe,”

“It’s a risk we’re not willing to take,”

“I’m willing to take it,” Ryuuji says. “Don’t you remember how he saved a bunch of us from the ghouls a while back? If he could have done that, he could have killed a whole lot of us too.”

“We are not ready to take that risk yet, we’re not equipped to deal with him yet,”

“He controlled himself when he first appeared, he didn’t harm anyone else. C’mon, think for once, will you? What damage is going to be one because all of you kept him in a coma because you’re scared of him, what if someone did that to you?” The doctor is silent “I want someone else on Rin’s case,”

“No-”  
“Then wake him up, or I’m telling Yukio and hes going to be pissed and you know how powerful he actually is, even if he isn’t the Paladin anymore,” The doctor leaves the rooms to grab the things he needs to bring Rin out of this coma. It takes a while for him to come back before in a small voice he says. 

“He should be awake in a little bit.” With that he leaves. Ryuuji calls Yukio to tell him everything that happened with what the doctor said and he could tell through the phone that Yukio was pissed. Who wouldn’t be. By the time Yukio got there, Rin was waking up. His heart rate monitor spiked, as well as the brainwave activity monitor. He clenches his eyes shut and reaches around and feels all of the tubes and wires all around him, confused to where he is and what is going on. 

The moment Rin opens his eyes, everything is fuzzy and bright, very different from his cell in Gehenna. His eyes and body are so used to darkness, that the bright fluorescent lights hurt his head. Everything is so forieg, yet so familiar at the same time. Everything starts to clear up visually, not 100%. Rin sees a figure moving toward him and his fight or flight response kicks in. He tries to move out of the bed he is laying in, but he’s held down by casts, wires and his own grogginess from just now getting out of a coma. One moment, he was being endlessly tortured by Erebus, and then the next he is here. The figure wraps its arms around Rin and he thrashes against it, pushing him away. Everything is slowly getting clearer, but he doesn’t know what is going on or where he is. 

Who ever was holding him, lets go and steps back until their back is against the wall. Rin rips out the wires and tubes that are going in and out of his body and he tries to stand and get out of bed, but someone holds him down. 

“Rin, it’s me, Yukio, you’re safe now, you’re in Assiah,” Rin stops moving and takes the oxygen cannula out of his nose. He takes a deep breath and doesn’t smell the foul Gehenna smells that are burned into his brain. He closes his eyes and rubs them, hoping that will help make everything less fuzzy and uncomfortably bright. 

“Rin you’re safe now, you’re in the Vatican headquarters hospital in recovery,” Yukio says slowly. Rin hugs him, blinking frantically to make everything less fuzzy so he can see his brother because despite how Yukio got him into this mess and how annoying he can be, Rin missed him more than anything. His vision returns and he watches as Ryuuji leaves. 


	8. Chapter 8

“I feel like shit,” Rin says, scarfing down the hospital grade food. 

“You look like shit,” Yukio replies. 

“Thank you, I had so much time on my hands in Gehenna, that I really worked on my appearance, as you can see,” He says, motioning to his hair that is matted and longer than he usually has it. “For me being gone for three years, you really haven’t changed at all.” Rin says. 

“Three years? You where gone for six almost seven months,” Yukio says. 

“Oh… I guess time moves differently in Gehenna,” Rin says through a mouthful food, sending crumbs everywhere. “How is everyone?”

“Relieved that you’re back,” Yukio says.

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic,”

“I’m not. They are all honestly glad that you are back,” Yukio says “I lost track of how many times I have had to drag Suguro out of this room. Rin, he feels awful for everything-” Rin looks down at his lap “-he has been beating himself up over it for months now.” 

“I only was thrashing around because I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know what was happening,”

“How? Your eyes were open and everything,”

“I couldn’t see anything though. It takes a minute for your eyes to adjust to spending three years in complete darkness to fluorescent hospital lights,” Rin says “I didn’t know what was going on, I panicked.” Rin adds. All while he was in Gehenna, all he thought about was Ryuuji. Through the worst of the worst of what he went through down there, he thought of Ryuuji. It what helped keep him sane and it helped keep him from giving in. Rin doesn’t remember if he was holding onto the good memories or the horror on his face from the battle with Amaimon. He was holding onto it all because he didn’t want to lose himself so he held onto him, even though he knows he shouldn’t get close to him anymore, regardless if Ryuuji missed him and didn’t stop trying to find a way to bring him back. 

Yukio is called away because of some mission or what not and Rin is left in the room alone. The silence is so loud. Rin makes a mental checklist about what is hurt and what isn’t. He sinks back into the pillows with Kuro going on an on about everything he missed while he was in Gehenna. Nurses stop by with some food and to make sure he is doing alright. Rin didn’t get any visitors, he wasn’t expecting anyone either. He knows Yukio is going to come back here the moment his mission is over. However, to Rin’s surprise, the door opens and Yukio isn’t the one to walk through it. Ryuuji is. He has a shy look on his face and he hesitates before he walks fully into the room. 

“H-how are you feeling?” he asks, keeping his distance.

“Very sore,” Rin replies, looking down at his lap, pulling out the pillies on the blanket. 

“How are you though… Mentally?” Ryuuji asks, stiffly sitting in the chair at Rin’s bedside. Rin freezes and tries to find an out from this conversation. “Yukio said this morning you had a PTSD attack or something. It’s why you-” Ryuuji cuts himself off. They sit in an uncomfortable silence for a long while. “I’m-”

“How have things been here?” Rin asks, knowing Ryuuji is going to apologise and try to make everything better.

“Boring without you, honestly,” Ryuuji says “I am sorry for everything.” he adds, trying to meet Rin’s gaze, but Rin continues to pull at the pillies on the blanket. 

“What do you mean by everything?”

“For the way I treated you after the camping trip,” He says. “For being a dick and-”

“-and for saying ‘I could have loved him if he wasn’t a monster?’ or that Shiro should have killed me when he had the chace?” Rin interrupts. Ryuuji sinks into his chair. 

“Yes. I didn’t mean it, and I feel awful”

“You did though,” Rin replies, finally looking up “You meant every word that came out of your mouth, you have always been that way.” 

“I want to make everything better, Rin, I really do. I want to fix us,”

“There isn’t an us anymore,” Rin says “I spent the better part of three years in Gehenna thinking about us and there isn’t an us anymore.”

“But you saved everyone at the hotel and you burned the therapy pamphlet,”

“I saved you guys because it was the right thing to do. I burned the pamphlet because Lucifer and Mephisto where working together to keep you thinking that I am dead so that they can use all of that raw emotion for… something,” Rin says “I want to want to fix everything, but it was so toxic, Ryuuji.”

“Because it was built off of a lie,” He says “You kept your heritage from me for your own reasons that I don’t have the liberty of judging. It was wrong of me to do so in the beginning because you are still you-” Rin looks away “-We can start over, make everything better between us because there are no lies so it won’t be toxic anymore.”

“I’m not me anymore,” Rin says “They killed that part of me within months.” 

“Well then let me get to know the new you,” Ryuuji says, wanting to reach out to him, but not knowing if it is a good idea. “I want to know about Gehenna and I want to have you back because I did everything you asked, but let you go, Rin I can’t let you go and I know you haven’t let me go either.  
“I should,” Rin says. “After the hell on earth I endured, I should just move on from you.”

“But?”

“I can’t,” Rin says “You’re everything that is warm, fuzzy and safe. But I- I can’t control my flames anymore.” Ryuuji is silent. “I can’t control them anymore. I flame out when I get too emotional, when I have flashbacks to Gehenna. Hell, even when I was there and would have nightmares, I would flame out, it’s dangerous and even if we do fix everything, I don’t want you or anyone close now because I am a monster after all.” 

“No you’re not,” Ryuuji says. “You’re not.” Rin looks back up at him through glassy eyes. He only nods his head slowly and whispers that he is. 

“You don’t know what I had to do in Gehenna,” Rin says.

“You did what ever you had to to stay alive.”

“You need to leave,” Rin says. 

“What? No?”

“No, you need to leave, because I’m going to flame out and I can’t control it anymore,” Ryuuji gets up and he leaves the room reluctantly. He leaves the door open a sliver so he can see if rin was actually going to flame out or if he was using that as a tactic to get him out of the room. Rin is is soon engulfed in flames as he curls himself up into a ball, whispering something to himself. Ryuuji can’t hear what he is saying, and it takes a minute before Rin is flameless. Ryuuj walks into the room again and Rin is laying back in the bed, trying to hold in his tears and sobs. 

“When I told you you’re not going through everything alone, I fucking meant it,” Ryuuji says

“Bon, not now please,” Rin says softly. But he doesn’t stop

“I was an asshole to you. I was down right horrible. What’s even worse is that I don’t even have a good reason to why I treated you that way, I just did and it was absolutely awful. I’m so sorry it took me this long to come around, but when we were all on the camping trip and I told you that we’re here for you- that I’m here for you, I fucking meant it.” Ryuuji says, with that, he leaves the room. 


	9. Chapter 9

Rin is in the hospital recovering for a few more days before he was given the go ahead to return to the dorm. He hasn’t seen or talked to Ryuuji since the other day and Rin still doesn’t know where he stands with him. He wants to just forget everything, but he can’t. He wants to be back in his arms, laying under the stars, or having a nerf gun war, but he also wants to keep Ryuuji as far away as he possibly can. He knows his limits better than anyone else and while he gets too worked up talking about what happened in Gehenna, he’s not going to use Ryuuji as a bandaid for all of the trauma he is bringing back with him. He doesn’t want him to get close while all the memories of what happened consume him. All of this thinking about what to do is so overwhelming, Rin leaves the dorm room for a walk. 

Being back on campus has a bittersweet, nostalgic feel to it. Yukio told him to stay in bed, but Rin ignores him and goes out for a walk. He needs fresh air and some time to think. Or time to relax because all he has really done is think. His entire body is sore still, but he’s not in immense pain as he was before. He walks until he is standing at the bridge. The infamous bridge. Where he watches the sun set when he’s having a stressful day. Where he once walked on the railing, drunk, in hopes that he would fall because it would be easier on everyone if it was caused by his own stupidity than him jumping and having it all be intentional. He sits on the railing, his feet dangling over the edge. He’s not going to jump, he just missed sitting like this. 

“Oh, so we’re jumping?” Rin doesn’t need to turn to know who is walking up next to him. 

“No,” Rin replies. “Not yet at least.”

“Are we going to jump jump or just jump and have a joy ride like in our Gehenna jail break with Satan’s head in one hand, his heart in the other?” Rin snorts. “No seriously. I have to plan my outfit accordingly.” Rin looks over at the one person who kept him from going insane in his years of torture. She isn’t wearing rags stained with blood and other bodily fluids anymore. She is wearing a white dress that washes out her pale skin and makes her black hair and dark eyes stand out. 

“I see you are finally wearing shoes,” Rin says, nodding to her heels. 

“Be nice, these weren’t easy to come by, plus apparently it’s not customary to not wear shoes here,” She adds “Anyway, where are you with lover boy?”

“Nowhere, and no where fast,” Rin replies. “What about you and Davey?”

“It hurts,” She says “I’m going to gut Erebus for this.”

“Me too,” Rin replies. “Assiah everything you remembered it as?”

“Oh, and more! I forgot how sweet the air is,” She says “It’s not like the thick, foul smells of Gehenna,” 

“Anything above the cells wasn’t that bad, but it was basically 50 shades of foul odors,” the girl laughs. “How did it go with Mephisto.”

“He said I can enrol in the cram school, and he is meeting with the teachers about it. Are you going to re enrol?” Rin shrugs his shoulders. “Lover boy?”

“It was hard when he found out and now there is all of this- this- I don’t even know what to call it. The first time, it was built on lies that I was normal and I haven’t even told him anything about what happened in Gehenna because I flame up and I don’t want him close because he might get burned,” Rin looks out at the sun sinking into the horizon. “I want to tell him and I want to have him close, but I don’t want him to get burned.”

“You talk to me about everything just fine,”  
“Because you where in the cell across from mine and you where going through the same things as I was. It’s easier with you because I don’t have to go into detail because you were right there with me,” Rin explains. “He’s going to look at me differently knowing everything I had to do, and everything Erebus did to me. I’m not the same person he fell in love with.”

“Then make him fall in love with this you,” She says “Besides, if he fell in love with the other you, he will adore this you.”

“Thank you, Lilith,”

“Anytime, Okumura,” She says. “Anyway, lover boy is standing over there, watching us, so I’ll leave you to it.” She kisses his cheek. “Don’t do something stupid, please.” She says, nodding to jumping. Rin nods his head and she walks away in the opposite direction of where Ryuuji is standing. He slowly walks over to Rin. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump,” Rin says. 

“Who was that?”

“Lilith,” Rin replies. 

“Not the demon Lilith who raised so much hell in New York a few years ago,”

“Yes, that Lilith,  
“Rin! Why did you let her go! She is dangerous!”

“We had cells next to each other,” Rin replied. “In Gehenna, she was there longer than me, but we were basically tortured together.”  
“She killed that poor man-”

“Erebus killed that poor man,” Rin replies. “His name was Davey and he was gutted right in front of her, because Lilith didn’t want to do Satan’s bidding anymore, so they locked her up and tortured her, trying to get her to give up and go do what Satan wanted. She didn’t cave, and the one person she loved died. She’s no more dangerous than I am.”  
“You never killed anyone, Rin,” Ryuuji replies. “She has.” Rin looks down at his lap. “You- you killed someone?” 

“Still think I’m not a monster?” He asks 

“Rin…”  
“It’s getting late,” Rin says, swinging his legs over the railing and stepping onto the bridge. 

“If you killed someone, it was to stay alive you did as you where told to stay alive-” Ryuuji sees the guilt-ridden look on Rin’s face and he walks back in the direction of his dorm room. “Right?” Ryuuji says softly. One thing is for sure, he’s not going to be able to make up with Rin as easily as he thought he would.

Ryuuji slowly walks back to his dorm room where Shima and Koneko are playing video games on the TV. 

“How’d it go? With Rin?” Shima asks. 

“Not very well,” Ryuuji replies, flopping down next to them after grabbing something to eat. “He is still pushing me away.”

“Well, maybe he just wants friends right now,” Koneko replies. He pauses the game “Look, if you go through something traumatic, and then you have someone talking about the two of you getting back together, it can be overwhelming, so maybe he really just wants friends other than relationships right now.” 

“He can barely look at me after the way I treated him last year,”

“The way we treated him last year,” Shima corrects. “After school we should all go up and visit him, just as friends, just to stop by and say hello. We haven’t really said anything to him because we have all been swamped with missions and school.”

“Yeah, we can talk to Sheimi and Izumo tomorrow,” Koneko adds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh there is a lot of talking in this chapter and the last... srry if it's too much XD
> 
> XOXO Tai


	10. Chapter 10

Rin couldn’t stand being at the dorm room anymore. It’s small and it reminds him of the cell he was in in Gehenna. He leaves and wanders all the way to the cram school. He knows classes are in session, but he continues to walk until he is in the training room. Clearly no one else has been here, seeing as there are still candles melted into the floor, and ashes here and there of his training going a little haywire. 

_ I made sure to keep everything the way it was before so when you came home it wouldn’t be much of an adjustment _ Kuro says, jumping up on Rin’s shoulder

“Thanks, buddy,” Rin says. “I missed you the most.” Kuro smiles softly. Rin sits down and sets up the candles, how he remembered. He lights the two on the end easily, no problem. He adds more candles and does different patterns, but noting his a challenge. He was a little shit in Gehenna. Erebus would send lower level demons who wanted to learn how to torture into the room, however, Rin would burn only their eyes out, so they couldn’t see a single thing. Granted they just had to get a new meatsuit, but still, he burned their eyes and he made it so the demon could feel it. He only ever had intentions of killing the demons inside of the people, but the demons inside had other plans. He got good at only burning their eyes, or only burning places where he wants to be burned. 

_ Should I get Shura and see if she wants to start training with you?  _ Kuro asks. Rin shrugs his shoulders. 

“I’m still not technically out of the woods yet, but I’ll let you know,” He tells him. Kuro nods his head. Rin’s phone buzzes, and it causes him to jump a little. He pulls it out of his pocket and sees it is a message from Shima. He is asking if Rin wants to hang out and play video games with them afterschool. He panics for a moment and says sure when he doesn’t really want to be in an inclosed room with people just yet. He says yes to come across like there is nothing wrong with like everything is okay and everything will be fine if he pretends that it will be fine. He anxiously waits until the end of the day for them before he and Kuro stroll to their dorm room. They already have food and drinks out and the game is in the loading screen. 

“Aye, Okumura, how you been?” Shima asks. 

“Good,” He replies, which is a lie. He avoids Ryuuji’s eyes and busies himself with finding something to eat or drink. Koneko and Shima dive into the game, not waiting for Ryuuji and Rin to pick out something to eat or drink yet. 

“Are you really ‘good’?” Ryuuji asks under his breath. 

“No,” Rin responds. 

“I’m sorry if I made it worse,” Ryuuji says “Bringing up what happened… I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine,” Rin replies, even though it really isn’t. They both know that deep down. “I mean I’m living and breathing and coping.”

“I still feel awful,” He says, keeping his voice low so the guys don’t here. 

“I know,” Rin sighs “If I can work through everything or get to a better headspace, maybe we can work on us.” Ryuuji doesn’t believe what he is hearing.

“You serious?” Rin nods his head. He tries to bite back a smile because this is a good thing. They rejoin the others and play with them like old times, and it does feel like old times for a little bit. 

______________________________________________________________________

“I told you, we have to wait for the right time,” Erebus says. His grey skin skin looks darker in the Gehenna lights. His even darker eyes flicker around Amaimon’s now trashed room. The castle in Gehenna is enormous. There are more rooms than Erebus knows how to count. No one other than Satan and his children have lived here. All of the other demons and ghouls and creatures live in caves and grottoes all around in Gehenna. In the centre, sits the castle that drips with blood. Where the blood comes from, no one really knows. 

“No,” Amaimon snarls, rummaging around in his room trying to find the infinity key Mephisto gave him. “I want do kill that little bitch and I want to bring Father back.” Erebus sighs and reaches into his pockets and pulls the key out. Amaimon’s eyes double in size and he tries to snatch it out of Erebus’s fingers. 

“Ah, not so fast,” he says, yanking it away from Amaimon. “You have to wait patiently, as me and the others have to. Demonic resurrection doesn’t happen in a blink of an eye, we need ingredients and time.”

“I don’t have time, give me the list, and I’ll get everything in minutes,” Amaimon yells. 

“Do you know how wine is made?” Erebus asks. Amaimon shrugs his shoulders “you have to wait for everything to ferment. Then, only then, is it bottled and set out. Cheese is the same way, people love aged cheese. Don’t even get me started on scotch.”

“Your point?” Amaimon asks. 

“My point,” Erebus says, clearing his throat, rapidly losing his patience. “Time makes everything better. Let Rin have his moments back. Let him get better, let him get close to Ryuuji again-”

“-Let it ferment,” Amaimon interrupts. 

“And you know what happens next,” Erebus says. Amaimon furrows his eyebrows and Erebus facepalms. He is sending a monkey to do a mans job. Erebus leaves Amaimon in his disheveled room. Outside the door stands Ariadne “He is useless.”

“But powerful,” She replies, handing him a glass of scotch from Assiah.

“Ironic,” Erebus says, knocking it back. 

“I try,” She shrugs her shoulders. They walk down the hallway to Erebus’s room. He may not be a spawn of Satan, but over the years he has become Satan’s favourite, right next to the brothers Okumura. 

“How is Kakia doing?” Erebus asks.

“She’s keeping an eye on Lilith. She says she has lost her a few times, so she knows something is up. She is attending the cram school, so that’s interesting,”

“What about Rin?” 

“Staying inside his heavily warded dorm room or in the areas of the campus where the warding is very strong,” She replies. “I think this is going to be harder than we thought.”

“No, we just gotta get him scared, you know what happens when he gets scared. Plus, I know he is going to try to work things out with Ryuuji. He is a creature of habit, he is going to go back to what ever is soft, warm and cosy. Ryuuji is all of those things and more,”

“Hmm? Jealous?” Ariadne cocks an eyebrow, but gets no reaction from Erebus. “Do you want me and Kia to draw Rin away from the academy?” He shakes his head. “Let us know when you want us to do something more than observing and reporting back to you.” 

“I will, in the mean time,” he says, turning into his room which isn’t really his room anymore, seeing as the decaying blood-soaked white wolf that was once Satan is sitting in the centre of the room in a pentagram of blood “I’m sick of this being in here to convince Amaimon that we’re going to bring him back.” 

“Do you want me to move it into another room?” Ariadne asks. 

“He’ll start asking questions, I told him this room was the safest,” He scrunches his face up. “The stench is making the ghouls go hungry.” Ariadne walks around the headless wolf with a hole in its chest.

“I still can’t believe Rin did it,” She says. “I mean, we were all trying to find him a body, and the last one we found held its own against Rin very well. How did he get the jump on him?”

“I’m not so sure. Rin went all Demon, tapping into his full potential, and got more hits on him than I’ve ever seen, more than anyone has ever seen. When the human body was failing, he jumped into the wolf, but he wasn’t recovering from it. I don’t know how Rin found him so quickly in this maze of a castle-”

“-That I built-”

“- But he did and Satan didn’t have time to recover. One thing led to another and he comes walking into the foyer where I was, with his head and his heart. A gate opened and he jumped through it, I did too, along with a bunch of others, made myself known to spark some fear into him,”

“It worked,”

“Of course it worked, I made sure that he would be so fucked up that even vaguely seeing me would make him quiver,” Erebus says. “His screams where always my favourite.”

“Oh, you got a weird reverse Stockholm Syndrome or something?” Ariadne asks. 

“Make sure Kakia stays in line, I know this is the first time she has been in Assiah, keep her in line.”

“Oh my, no you didn’t!” Ariadne laughs “You feel for the boy.” 

“Why would I? I’m plotting to fucking kill him right now. Shut up and do your job.” He says. Erebus hates Rin with a burning passion, there where so many times where Rin was the golden boy. He would blink and Satan would praise him. Give him all of the things Erebus wanted even though Erebus has been here for milenia compared to Rin who has been there for merely years. Well, the love and affection lasted a few months until Rin didn’t want to play anymore then Erebus became the favourite again and was in charge of torturing. Better Rin being tortured than him, he thought. He loved the power, he got drunk on it. Killing people left and right, torturing Rin, getting the rumour of Rin being dead to spread through out Gehenna like Wildfire and laughing in Rin’s face when he showed Rin how everyone is moving on and how everyone is forgetting him, with the help of Ariadne. 

Her “mental maze” trick really helped get Rin’s torture going. She got inside of his head and replayed all of the painful memories he kept locked away, Shiro’s death, everything that happened between him and Ryuuji, she even made up her own realities of everyone in Assiah forgetting him. They thought for sure it was going to work, but it didn’t break him. They had to break him and make him more susceptible to Satan’s manipulation. Something was blocking them out and they have yet to figure it out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember if I've already posted two chapters or not because today has just been that kind of day, so regardless, here is ch 10!! I hope y'all enjoyed it!!!  
> Stay safe babes <3
> 
> XOXO Tai


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:: There are mentions of suicide in this chapter I have too little asterisks where it starts and where it ends so if you wanna skip it I'll sum it up in the end notes. Please don't read it of suicide triggers you. Take care of yourselves my loves! Remember to take ur meds and drink water and look in the mirror and say "you're beautiful" to your reflection bc you are stunning <3\. 
> 
> Also, I'm posting the last three chapters today, tomorrow and friday so enjoy the three days of uploads! I'm drafting part 3 right now! I'm not sure when it will be up, but it will be up and I will be posting two chapters for it every friday!!
> 
> Enough rambling, enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Why did Rin give you Kurikara?” Yukio asks, bursting in through the doors of Shura’s office. 

“He wanted it to be held for safe keeping,” She replies. Taking her feet off of her desk and sitting up right. “Look, Gehenna really fucked him up and he wants to get better. How’d you find out anyways?”

“He went on a mission with me and he didn’t have it. I asked him where it went and he told me. He said he could do the same things without the sword as he can with the sword which is a load of shit,” Yukio says “Look, I need it back because clearly Rin is off his rocker.”

“No,” Shura replies. 

“No?”

“No,” She stands up and towers over Yukio in her heeled boots. “He trusted me to hold onto the sword. He told me when he is ready he will take it back, so why don’t you trust him, huh? Cut him some slack if he starts spacing out or doesn’t want to go on a mission or what not.”

“But he’s doing fine!” Yukio says “He has been in the training room practicing with the candles, the batting cages, everything- he’s doing fine!” Shura shakes her head and crosses her arms. 

“He’s putting bandaids over bullet wounds,” She says. Yukio furrows his eyebrows. “For someone so smart, you are very dumb. Look, he will tell you everything when he is ready for you to know everything don’t walk on eggshells around him, scared you’re going to trigger him. Offer here and there to go on missions and if he doesn’t have Kurikara with him, just ignore it.”

“He’s going to get himself killed without it,”

“I’ve seen him, Yukio, no he is not going to get himself killed. Besides, I’ve always been there watching in all of the missions you guys have been on, if things get hairy, I step in and I haven’t yet.”

“He’s been back a few months and he’s still not himself,”

“Well, lets adapt to this being the New Rin, Okay? Yes, he’s a little fucked up and very tormented and the demon who did most or maybe all of his torturing in Gehenna is still at large and he’s freaked out about it, but this is the new Rin and we love him regardless,” Yukio is silent. “I did my time in Gehenna, I know the effects it has on a person. He needs time and space and you to not mother him, okay? Now go grade tests or something and stay out of his hair.” Yukio leaves her room, still annoyed that Rin gave up Kurikara. He walks through campus to get to his classes. He sees Rin hanging out with everyone from his cram school classes, plus a girl he has never seen before. He’s not wearing his uniform, so he is just saying hi to them during their lunch break. He looks fine there, laughing and talking, not anxiously looking over his shoulder or his hands and tail nervously shaking. He looks almost normal here. 

The bell rings and everyone goes in their own directions, but Rin walks with Ryuuji to his class. Yukio adheres to what Shura says and he walks on to his own class, leaving the two of them to their own devices and not following and listening in on their conversation. 

_________________

“He’s letting you on missions without the sword?” Ryuuji says, amazing Yukio would even let him out of the dorm room with an idea like that. 

“Well, in his defence, he didn’t know and I kept it that way. Shura has it and she is always around watching and observing so if things go south she’s there to help. Plus Lilith is always there too as a life line / watching out for Erebus or the others,” Rin says. 

“You can really control your flames that much you don’t need the sword?”

“Yes and no,” Rin says. “In Gehenna, I had Lucifer hold onto it for me, because I was spending so much of my time protecting the sword, so I got creative when lower level demons came in instead of Erebus, I learned some ‘party tricks’ for lack of a better phrase. I can get by. Not killing-satan by but I can made do with what I have. I know when I to hold back.”

“Who are you and what did you do with Rin?” He jokes. Rin laughs, not sure if he should tell Ryuuji now of all the horrors that went on in Gehenna to get him to this spot. “Anyway, see you after school?” Rin nods. He can tell Ryuuji wants everything to be normal again between them and Rin is trying harder than anyone can imagine. He’s trying to be normal, he’s trying to be the person they all remembered pre-gehenna, but it’s just a thing he thinks will never happen. As he promised, he and Ryuuji meet up after school and sit on the roof of Rin’s dorm building. 

** “I have a question,” Ryuuji says. Rin nods and turns towards him. “The night you where taken, you where walking on the railing of the bridge, drunk off your rocker…” he pauses, trying to find a way to properly word his question.

“You’re wondering if I was going to jump?” Rin asks. Ryuuji nods and goes to apologize and say he doesn’t have to answer, but Rin answers anyway. “I wanted to, yeah. Being half demon makes it so liquor goes right through my system and I have to drink like I wanted to die to feel something, so I did. I raided Shura’s stash which is enough to considered a liquor store. I knew what was going to happen before Yukio did and I knew there was no reasoning with him and that he was hellbent on doing whatever our biological grandfather wanted him to do. So I thought that they’re not going to get me alive. I wanted to jump, but I wanted to stay, but oh man did falling look nice in that moment. Thank god for Shura.” Rin says with a smile. Ryuuji is silent. 

“Is it because of me? And how I treated you, is that why you jumped?”

“Into the gates or wanted to jump off the bridge?”

“Both,” Rin hesitates. 

“The bridge, not so much. Yeah, it hurt not having you there in my corner, but I was planning on jumping more as an act of defiance against Yukio. They needed Demon blood and I was the most powerful one around and at easy access. I thought if they wanted demon blood, they’re going to have to mop it off of the cement I thought if I jumped, Yukio would see how horrible his plan was. I now see how horrible my own plan was.”

“And the Gehenna gates?”

“I didn’t have anything keeping me here,” He says. “I didn’t have anyone fighting to their last breath to keep me here and I know you guys showed up in the end and where trying to stop me, but by then I already made the deal and my mind was already made up. There was no going back from that moment and everyone knew it, even Yukio and Kuro and Shura. I didn’t think it was going to be as bad as it was.”

“What about when you wanted me to shoot you,”

Rin laughs lightly. “I forgot about that. I thought it would make you feel better. I thought it would make you hate me less if you killed me because I wanted to die out of the pure hurt I felt from everything that was said and from Yukio not treating me like a person but a stain he was trying to clean. I get I’m not easy and I never listen to him or Shura, but I’m still a person, half demon, full demon, I’m still a person.”

“You thought it would mae me feel better?”

Rin nods “You hated me. Or came across like you hated me, and I thought well, if you wanted to Kill Satan, why not get his spawn as well - brownie points on your resume. I don’t mean to make jokes, I just don’t know how to talk about this and not seem like I’m blaming you for everything.”

** “You should blame me for everything,” Ryuuji replies. “I was horrible-”

“-But we’re working past everything,” Rin replies. He gets a gut feeling that something is around them. “Something is here.” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t look around, and talk about school.”

“We are working past everything,” Ryuuji says, smiling. “Anyway, school was boring as ever. The teachers droned on as they did, and if it wasn’t for Shima and Koneko I would have pulled a Rin and fallen asleep.” Rin forces a laugh and Ryuuji does too. He sees a look in Rin’s eyes he’s only ever seen once. When he was jumping into the gates. Fear. He is terrified. “It’s getting late, we should go inside. It is chilly out.” Rin nods.

“Yeah, wasn’t that movie on that you wanted to watch?” Ryuuji nods his head and makes up a title. They get up and Rin walks to the centre of the roof and puts his hand down. A sigil burns in blue flames. Ryuuji is thoroughly impressed when three bloodhound looking creatures appear. They’re made out of blue flames. Rin says something in a language Ryuuji doesn’t recognise. The bloodhounds turn into transparent shadows of what they where and they all scatter. They walk inside, Rin closes the door behind him, and puts another sigil on the door. 

“What are you doing?”

“It’s Erebus,” He says. He snaps his fingers three times and out of the shadows slinks Lilith. He says something to her in what Ryuuji thinks is an unknown branch of Latin. He knows a lot of Latin, but this must be a “demon branch” of it or something, because he doesn’t understand a single word Rin is saying to Lilith. Rin pulls out his phone and calls someone. 

“Are you calling Lucifer?” Lilith asks. 

“No we can’t trust him,” Rin says. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Rin talks about how he was planning to jump off of the bridge to Ryuuji b4 they are interrupted by Erebus***
> 
> I hope y'all didn't cry as much as I did writing this! See ya tomorrow and Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> XOXOXO Tai


	12. Chapter 12

“What do you mean we can’t trust him? He got us out of that hell hole, literally,” Lilith says. 

“Believe me, Lilith, I’ve never ever really trusted Lucifer to begin with. He was only a means of getting us out of here.” 

“What is it then?” She asks. The both of them forgetting Ryuuji is in the room next to them. 

“You know what it is, Lil,” he says. 

“But I don’t,” Ryuuji says. 

Rin takes a deep breath and Lilith tells him it’s alright in the demon language every demon knows. “Before I was being tortured in Gehenna, I was right beside Satan. He told me stories about my mom and things about her I would have never found out. He said apparently I look more like him than I do her. Anyway, he tried to coax me into trying to giving into the demon inside of me and I said no. Anyway, when he was off doing demon business, I poked around the castle-”

“Castle?”

“Yes, The only structure in all of Gehenna is a castle right in the centre it of it, everything else is a wasteland of bones, bodies and blood-”

“-The three B’s as we call them-” Lilith adds, trying to put some light on this situation. 

“-I found out that Yukio without knowing was working for the Illuminati. They call themselves the Bright Future Foundation, but it’s the Illuminati. They’re trying to bring Gehenna to Assiah or vise versa and have everything how it once was. They need me and they ned me to be my demonic self because then I’m just an endless supply of blood for them if they use it right. I did end up going out because they said they were going to hurt you and I would never let that happen, even if I thought you hated me and I was upset with you for everything you said. I was never going to let that happen. I did what they said and I did their bidding and killed so many demons and fresh souls in Gehenna because thats what I was told to do-”

“Enter me,” Lilith says, sensing the heat boiling up in Rin from reliving everything. “I told Rin that they can’t hurt you because Mephisto is around and Mephisto is backed by the Vatican- reluctantly. And you haven’t really left school campus soo you where safe. Anyway, bringing Rin back was difficult but we managed and then he refused to go all feral again so they locked him up and tried to torture it out of him, figuring if immense pain cause him to wolf out, than they were going to do just that. Me on the other hand. I was done doing their bidding, so I stopped and ended up in a cosy cell across from Rin. The rest is history.”

“So you’re ‘using’ Lucifer?” 

“Like a snot rag,” Lilith replies. “Oh and he knows it too, there is no surprise. He expects us to go back on his deal.” 

“Which is what we’re doing, even if he is secretly aligned with Erebus and his goons.”

“Not goons, girls,” Lilith says “He got Ariadne and Kakia with him. Kakia has been following me around and you sometimes, but I swear she has ADHD or something. Well, I’m going to stand in the other room because as long as we’re in here we’re safe. And I’ll let you and lover boy work everything out.” Rin nods, keeping a brave face until she walks out of the room and then his knees tremble and he stumbles over to the bed and sits on the edge. He lets his head fall into his hands. 

“On paper, I’m fine,” Rin says “On paper and around Lilith, I’m fine-” Ryuuji crouches next to Rin.

“You don’t have to be fine around me,” Ryuuji says. “You have every reason to not be fine. You called Yukio, right? He should be here soon with Shura.”

“The hounds chaced  _ him _ away,” Rin says, pulling his head out of his hands and looking away from Ryuuji, trying to find something to stare at until he calms the fire he feels rising inside of him. “I think you should go back to your dorm.” Rin looks back at him. “Please, I don’t think I can hold off any longer for not flaming out and I don’t want you to get burned.”

“You seem incontrol,”

“I’m not,” Rin replies. “I panick when it happens and- please, Bon, I don’t want you to get hurt.” Ryuuji nods and says he’ll be by in the morning. 

____________________________

Rin hides out in the bathroom when Ryuuji stops by the following morning. Yukio covers for him and says he went out for a run which isn’t entirely a lie, he did go out running this morning which helps keep his anxious energy at bay, especially since last light when Ryuuji was too close for Rin’s comfort when the moment Ryuuji left the room, he was engulfed in his flames and full blown panic attack that left the demon inside of him cackling. Everything is a mess and his bandaids over his bullet wounds aren’t holding up anymore. He takes two steps forward with Ryuuji then one step back and they both know they’re going in circles.

When Rin finally comes out of the bathroom, he talks to Yukio about his plan to finally step out of this exhausting cycle and it leaves Yukio equally confused and impressed. 

“You want to go back to school?”

“Yes,” 

“You do know that there are going to be triggers there and you’re going to be out in the open,”

“Yes,”

“Why?”  
“I need to step out of this cycle I’m in of always hiding. I need to just- I don’t know. I need to actually try to make everything normal again, it’s the best thing to do right now and No this does not mean I’m going to be taking Kurikara back from Shura. Not yet. I’m not ready for that.”

“What if we go on missions?”

“Yukio, I learned some party tricks in Gehenna,” Rin says. “You have to trust me, everything is going to be fine. I’m going to be fine, I just need to get back up on the bike. You know?”

“But this isn’t like riding a bike, Rin,” Yukio replies. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, what ever,” He says, in his usual tone which makes Yukio smile. “It’ll be fine. Besides, it’ll be brotherly bonding. We haven’t done that in I don't know how long… seriously, trying to keep track of how long it has been for you guys verses how long it as been for me is exhausting.” Yukio rolls his eyes and says he’ll talk to Mephisto. “And Lilith is going to the cram school as well as me. I may not go back to the normal school, but I’m going back to the cram school.”

“Why only the cram school?”

“We need to be prepared for what is coming next,” Rin says. He filled Yukio in on everything that has happened with Erebus and Lucifer. Shura was right, he went to Yukio when he was ready to and doesn’t need to be pushed into anything. 

“Will I have to cover for you anymore and shoo Suguro away?”

“No, I’ll handle it.”

“How are you handling it?”

“I’m not, but I will.” 

“If you say so.”

“Just, don’t tell anyone yet, I’m still not sure if I’m going to back out last minute and I don’t want them all, especially Bon, to get their hopes up that I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Yukio says. He couldn’t keep it a secret from anyone. He told everyone Rin is coming back to school and that they shouldn’t make a big deal about it, knowing full well they all are. He sees Ryuuji smile softly. They’re finally going to low key flirt with each other over homework assignments in the dorm room again. The day Rin shows up for school, he gets in his classroom early and expected a big surprise party or what not from everyone, but there wasn’t anything. He doesn’t mind it either, because he hasn’t been around loud noises and a lot of chaos at once as a party would ensue so it’s probably for the best. However, right where he sat there is a jar on the table. He laughs to himself as he walks over to it. He hears Ryuuji standing in the doorway, but pretends not to notice him. As Shima says, Rin’s “spidey-senses” are off the wall seeing as he knows who is in the room without even having to look or ask. 

In the jar, which is no surprise to anyone, are lollipops. Rin unscrews the top and sees laying on top of a sticky note, there is the hair clip. He smiles wider, as if it’s possible, and looks at the sticky note.

_ Peace offering??  _

Rin looks up in the doorway and sees Ryuuji. He stands up and walks over to him. He’s tired of walking in circles. They both are. He’s tired of being torn between keeping Ryuuji at a distance, and wanting him closer than they where pre-gehenna. He hasn’t worked through everything, but they can take it slow, right? 

“Well?” Ryuuji says, waiting to see if Rin is actually going to take is peace offering. Even if they’re not feuding like they were many, many moons ago. Rin steps up onto his tip toes and he kisses Ryuuji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG OKAY STAY CALM WHATS THE PROCEDURE PEOPLE XD THEY MF-ING KISSED AAAHHHHHHHHH
> 
> Okay, as I've previously said, I don't know when the next part is going to be posted, I'm going to try to draft more than half of it before I post again. I have a feeling it will be soon because my school got shut down again until dec. 2nd or 3rd so I'll have a lot of time, as always thank you for reading this chapter I hope you're enjoying the finale of his series and so many bombs where dropped like is Luci a good guy or is he a bad guy? We don't know XD
> 
> XOXOXO Tai


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER UNTIL PART 3 T-T

The kiss caught Ryuuji off guard. He didn’t expect it. He expected Rin to say yes or hand him a Lollipop, but a kiss? He doesn’t hate this idea of declaring their “truce” as if they really needed one. Rin pulls away and they’re both met with smiles a mile long. 

“We’re going to go slow,” Rin says. “No more pushing away or endless loops.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Rin nods his head. “Like 100%?”  
“Yes,”

“And if you need to tap out you’ll let me know because I won’t be mad or upset.” 

“I pinky promise,” Rin says, holding up his pinky. Ryuuji links his Pinky with Rin’s. They shake on it. Ryuuji cups Rin’s face and kisses him again. The bell rings and they hear the increasing sound of people walking down the hallway. Ryuuji pulls away from Rin, kisses his forehead, and they walk to their seats as if they didn’t just kiss and as if nothing even happened between them aside from the fact that Rin is back. He is fully back. Everyone files into the classroom, all saying hi to Rin and that they’re happy he is doing better. They have no clue how much better he is doing. Yukio walks in and begins the class he smiles at Rin and goes with his introduction to the class. Rin unclips the hairclip and pulls his hair back. 

“Welcome back, Rin,” Shiemi whispers to him. 

“Thank you, it feels good to be back,” He replies. She smiles and says it’s nice to have someone sitting with her again. He smiles back at her and to everyone's surprise, he stays awake for the entire class. He pays attention and after being in Gehenna for so long, most of what is in all of his classes he already knows from seeing it all first hand. Nevertheless it feels good to be back in class. 

Rin is benched in Grimoire studies while everyone else is running drills and what not which it pisses him off, but he understands why because they where working on throwing holy water bombs in getting the right timing for when they pull the pin to throwing it and making sure it blows up when it needs to. With every explosion Ryuuji’s head snaps over in Rin’s direction where he is playing checkers with Kuro, not even paying attention. Granted, the sounds aren’t super loud, but he sees Rin’s tail twitch every single time one goes off. 

The class goes by fast and before anyone knows it, it’s the end of the day. It doesn’t take anyone long to realize that Rin and Ryuuji are back to how they used to be seeing as Rin grabs Ryuuji’s writs and brings him in the direction of Rin’s dorm building seeing as his is completely vacant. Yukio is held up at a staff meeting so he’s going to be out for an hour. They flop onto the couch, wrapped up in one another. 

“How was your first day back?” Ryuuji asks. 

“It’s not like we have every class together or anything,” Rin says. 

“Well help me get inside your head,” Ryuuji says. 

“It was fine,” He says, settling on top of Ryuuji. “It was exhausting and I was annoyed in grimoire studies I was benched because of the holy water.”

“I think it was more of the sound than the holy water.”  
“He said it was the holy water,” Rin says. He shrugs his shoulders “it’s fine, honestly. That stuff burns like when you nick the edge of a hot pan.” Ryuuji cringes. 

“Who knew blessed water could have that effect?” Rin smiles and shugs his shoulders again. He yawns and nuzzles the crook of Ryuuji’s neck. “I’m glad we’re back.”  
“Me too,” Ryuuji tightens his grip on Rin because he isn’t ever going to let him go. Erebus may be at large right now and who knows what type of chaos he is causing right now somewhere on the other side of the world, but right now, Ryuuji has Rin. He has Rin in his arms and he is breathing and he is alive and everything is going to be fine because he has him. Rin doesn’t flinch anymore when Ryuuji or anyone touches him which is serious progress. He doesn’t have anymore large freak outs. Yes, Shura still has Kurikara and he doesn’t trust how much control he actually has over himself. But likewise, he has Ryuuji and he knows as long as he is safe in his arms, nothing can happen to him. 

_______________________________________

“Okay they made up, now what. Can we wreck it?” Amaimon says. 

“They’ve been back for four minutes, no,” Erebus says

“You’re no fun,” Amaimon says. 

“No, you have some reverse stockholm syndrome or something,” Ariadne says. Erebus shakes his head “Then why aren’t you going in for the kill? You’ve had so many chances to gut him in front of Lover boy. Why?”

“I want him to think that he is safe and that I can’t reach him,” 

“Are you sure you and Lucifer aren’t in cahoots?” Kakia ask.

“We may have the same endgame, but we are not in cahoots,”  
“Aww, didn’t break even?” Kakia asks. “Are you still alive but barely breathing?” Ariadne snorts. 

“Praying to a god that you don’t believe in?” Ariadne adds. 

“I think he got time while Luci got freedom,” Kakia and Ariadne break out into laughter while the other two just stare at them. “What? It’s a good song.” Erebus rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “What happened between you and Lucifer? There some secret romance?”

“He was daddy’s favourite and when I came along, I was Satan’s favourite. He’s just salty. It’s why he helped freed Lilith and Rin.” 

“Well, time to make a move because Amaimon is sick of waiting. He’s getting trigger happy and you know what happens when Amaimon is left alone.” Kakia says.

“We will move in on them soon. It’s a slow going path we need everything to be right. Amaimon, behave or I will never bring Satan back.” That gets him to shut up real fast. “You guys do know that we’ve barely begun, right? I have so much more in store for them. For all of them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so much. I love seeing the hits go up every other day, it's a super motivating and it makes my day. I love getting comments they honestly help me direct the story with y'alls predictions or even some of y'all have given me suggestions for what to add into the story or what not and I love it all. 
> 
> I will see y'all hopefully soon and stay tuned for part three or updates for other fanfics in my queue -- I have a Supernatural fic ready as well as a How To Get Away With Murder fic so aahh if those are also your fandoms, be on the look out if you like my writing
> 
> XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Tai

**Author's Note:**

> BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME FOR KILLING RIN, LOOK. AT. THE. TAGS/WARNINGS. 
> 
> AHH I hope you didn't cry as hard as I did writing this. I figure if I don't cry while writing, is it even sad???? Stay safe out there with Miss Rona floating around. Love you all~
> 
> XOXO Tai


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